Posts Tagged ‘bar’

I’ve spoken about Crown & Pearl in many of my posts. It’s a bar like no other in SL, and to me that’s not just because of it’s unique design, or the talented DJs, it’s about the regulars: The people who turn up everyday and make you glad you do too. One of the special things about our regs is we’re all very open and welcoming to new people, we want everyone to feel wanted there and enjoy themselves as much as we do. Which is a too rare thing in my SL-pub experiences. There are endless things I could comment on about the culture and atmosphere of Crown, but today there’s one special aspect that I want to talk about: The Women of Crown.

There is a sort of core group of women at Crown, it’s “membership” and numbers shifts and changes of course, but there appears to be a constant among us: The way we joke with and look out for each other. So often women in RL and SL fight over men, or bitch behind each others backs, and are never really “friends” in a meaningful sense. Sure we get some of the occasional nasties at Crown, but the dominating and long-lasting trend is we have each other’s backs, like a community feeling to the place. Along the same lines it makes sense that a bunch of people at Crown end up being “related” to each other in SL families, which is definitely a topic I will return to.

That other key component I mentioned was the way we joke with each other. If you ever visit Crown at night (and you should), you’ll find us women all flirting with each other like mad, and loving it. It’s playful and light-hearted and down right hilarious a lot of the time. Some of us are bi-sexual, but somehow it still never gets taken the wrong way, as it often does if you flirt like that with men in SL. We have plenty of men around who get the flirting too, but most of the sexual banter does seem to fall between the females.

Now there were two recent comments made in SL which got me thinking about this topic. The first was the other night when Kimber said how neat it was that instead of fighting over men us ladies were more interested in comparing our RL boobs with each other, which I thought was a good summary of the mood there.

The second comment was one made a while back by someone who had said we were, and I quote “pseudo-lesbians”. Now I don’t know if it was meant in a disparaging way, I suspect then was a bit of judgment going on there, but it kinda ruffled my feathers. To assume that we are not lesbians or bisexual and just playing around was the initial assumption there – believe it or not some women are actually attracted to other women. I know, shock horror right *sighs*. But more so the point is women don’t get carried away when they flirt with each other – try flirting with a man sometime and see his mind start to tick over.. “maybe I really stand a chance here, maybe she means it, yeah I’m sure she means it, I’m gonna score, I’m gonna score..”. Women as a general rule don’t seem to get carried away like that. Not because we’re not lesbians, but because we realise that a lot of the time flirting is just fun and funny and we know where to draw the line. Well, except me, I’ll push the line sometimes, but what I mean is I know it’s just play-time as do the other women at the Crown.

There are plenty of very open and very secret and plenty in-between relationships between people at Crown, as there are anywhere. But as a general rule we all feel comfortable playing with each other in open chat. It is a comfortable laid-back atmosphere that I’ve never felt anywhere else except Three Lions which is a pub that closed before Crown started up (Lions tried – unsuccessfully – to resurrect a few months back).

It’s hard to explain the awesomeness of Crown to someone’s who’s never been there. So tell ya what, next time you’re in world, IM me and ask me for a TP so you can come and see for yourself, and I’ll introduce you to the beauty of the Women of Crown 🙂

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As much as I love Crown & Pearl (which is my home base, the place I work, and the place I play with my friends), every so often I need a break from it. The reasons for needing the break change – sometimes someone is really pissing me off (which is the reason I currently need the break), sometimes I just need to quietly sort my inventory without feeling like I am rude ignoring everyone around me, whatever the reason I now and then go for a wander.

Usually going for a wander around SL is not a significant event, but for me it is. People expect me to be at Crown, and that’s fine with me. The thing is if I go somewhere other than Crown and people find out I’m not there I frequently get IMs asking with a great sense of awe where I could have possibly gone instead! The IMs in themself don’t bother me, it’s nice that people think of me and talk to me, it’s just that it emphasises the extensive amount of time I spend there when I am actually logged in.

Usually if I have left Crown of my own accord it is to go take pictures of a scenic sim or listen to a friend DJ, in those situations I’m acting with purpose – I’m not “leaving” Crown so much as actively going to another place and intending to come back soon. The problem is when I want to escape for a bit and have no particular purpose in mind, or just need a quiet place to sort things out.

My experiences in SL have taught me that any sim I go to, people will contact me and think me rude if I don’t respond, sometimes I get asked to leave if I accidentally end up on a private sim, other times I’m in the way of someone’s picture and need to move. If I try to hang out somewhere else just for a break in and of itself, and not because I need “quiet time”, then I am reminded of why I stay at Crown in the first place – the people there are not just out for sex and are on the most part stimulating and friendly, which is more than I can say for any other bar I have ever been to in SL, besides 3 Lions which is long gone.

So what do I do then, when I need a break, and still need or want to be in SL, but nowhere else feels right or those other places turn out to be worse..? I sit out of chat range at Crown, either in the sky or on the fringes, until I’ve finished my set task or the person bugging me has left my mystitool radar. It’s the closest thing to a home that I have in-world, I have build rights and most land rights there so I feel safe and have all the requisite freedoms I need to get anything done that needs getting done.

So often though I think how much nicer my SL would be if I just had those two other places: Somewhere private to chill-out, and a second bar to hang at, instead of having all my virtual eggs in the one basket (however wonderful that basket is 90% of the time). But I learnt a long time ago, that it’s called second life, not perfect life. You count your blessings in both worlds and just be grateful for what you do have, right..?

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